I’m Basically, Halfway, Nowhere Near, but Close Enough, to Almost Grown

It was on a Friday morning when I realized that I was experiencing one of the most valuable times of my life. Don’t get me wrong, every day we live on this Earth is valuable but these times, these are some of my most valuable. I owe the world nothing. On this Earth, I have no one to look after, no one to answer to, and no one holding me back. I am in charge of myself and my own destiny. My sole responsibility is carving out my own path and let me just say, it is a wonderful feeling.

For the nineteen days I’ve been at “summer camp”, I’ve been trying my best to figure everything out. There have been times when I’ve questioned if I’m smart enough, outgoing enough, and even athletic enough (shoutout to the morning runners) to be here. I wouldn’t call this imposter syndrome but just me going “Is this really happening right now?!” twelve times a day. I had one of those moments today at 8:33 am when the guy in my 3-person econ group introduced himself to and only faced the palm-colored girl who much to his disappointment, had no idea what was going on. It wasn’t until I said “That makes no sense” to her wrong answer that he turned around and began listening to what I had to say. Everyone knows that cheaper materials create lower manufacturing costs, which causes suppliers to make more couches. Everyone but her I guess.

As I continue to spend my days here, I’m finding that if you want anything done, anything heard, or anything considered, you've got to take the reigns yourself. There is no waiting around for someone else. When you’re basically, halfway, nowhere near, but close enough to almost grown, no one is coming to save you. Sure they can help, but you’ve got to decide if you’re going to sink or swim. Gosh, that sounded really harsh. It’s true though. That day you wake up and say “I’m really out here doing the damn thing” won’t be planned. It’ll be on a random day, a “boring” day even. It’ll be one of those days when you’re alone with your thoughts, speed walking to class, or waiting in line somewhere. Sidebar: There is a line for everything here. When it happens isn’t important, but once it hits you, that feeling of excitement, nervousness, and uncertainty, never forget it. Take those feelings, run with them as fast as you can, and never look back. In the words of my great uncle, “Nothing comes to a sleeper but a dream”. Cherish these days and take care of yourself.

Love,

Claire